Chapter 2, Entry VIII

Today, is Wednesday, August 4th, 2010.  I was doing fairly well there for a while, but then started to feel depressed the last few days and with that came the feeling of being overwhelmed.  Unfortunately on top of it all my jeep wouldn't start today, so now I'm stressing over all of my jeep problems at once.  I mean I was already stressing over needing a new transmission and a new windshield, which I need by the end of this month or my jeep wont pass inspection, and now on top of it all it won't start.  I'm hoping and praying it's just the battery.  But still, where is all this money coming from...battery, windshield all before the end of this month, then the transmission, then my hospital bills on top of that and my personal property taxes.  So if I have all this to deal with, how can I possibily expect to get my life in order the way it needs to be when it's ass backwards right now.  Then there's the depression.


I'm just trying to hang on and deal with this depression that has set in.  It seems to be a deep depression, so I'm really having to try to push through it.  Right now, I'm not wanting to do anything, nor am I up for anything.  All I feel like doing is crying or sleeping.  It's seems I never have any help, I am always on my own anymore.  I just feel so overwhelmed right now and worried.