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Today is Thursday, December 1, 2011. Now that it's December it feels official...Christmas time is here, so now I feel the pressure and stress, not to mention depression is starting to set in. I'm feeling the stress of finances, shopping and dealing with crowds, missing family, dealing with traffic, cleaning, putting up Christmas decorations and cooking. Christmas just isn't a good time of year for me. Just dealing with the finances of Christmas alone is depressing. This time of the year is a day to day battle for me.
I don't feel like decorating, cleaning, cooking or shopping. And all the people going around talking about Christmas and how happy they are just makes me more depressed. I envy what they have because I don't have it. Christmas is suppose to be a happy and joyful time of year, when all I feel is stress and depression.
I was already feeling pressure towards the end of November, but now that December is here it will be worse. More and more people are talking about shopping, decorating and family. None of those things are joyful for me, except family would be if I actually got to see them, but I don't even get to see my family for Christmas. And the thought of going out shopping and dealing with the crowds and traffic horrifies me.
I really don't know how I'm going to deal with it except to take things one day at a time like I usually do. It's just that this time of year is particularly harder than any other time of the year. On top of it all, my husband hates Christmas, so that doesn't make it easier. If he were to be into Christmas and make it a happier time for me, then it would help me, but he just doesn't care. How I married someone who hates Christmas is beyond me. I never would have thought I would have. I guess I don't know myself as well as I thought I did.
About the only thing I'm getting done right now is work. I occasionally work a day or two here and there on the weekends and I barely get through that. Only thing that gets me through that is because I need the money. Matter of fact, I work the next two days and I'm so stressed about it already. I have been all week. I'm just going to do the best I can to make it through the next two days and think of the money.
I am still not certain I am even going to put the tree up, not to mention I have no room. But everyone says I should. Shopping will probably be last minute. And sadly, cleaning and cooking probably won't happen. At least that's how it's looking now. Well I guess that's all for now. I'm just going to try and relax as much as I can the rest of the day before having to work the next two days. Hopefully, I will be successful in calming down some. So until next time.
I don't feel like decorating, cleaning, cooking or shopping. And all the people going around talking about Christmas and how happy they are just makes me more depressed. I envy what they have because I don't have it. Christmas is suppose to be a happy and joyful time of year, when all I feel is stress and depression.
I was already feeling pressure towards the end of November, but now that December is here it will be worse. More and more people are talking about shopping, decorating and family. None of those things are joyful for me, except family would be if I actually got to see them, but I don't even get to see my family for Christmas. And the thought of going out shopping and dealing with the crowds and traffic horrifies me.
I really don't know how I'm going to deal with it except to take things one day at a time like I usually do. It's just that this time of year is particularly harder than any other time of the year. On top of it all, my husband hates Christmas, so that doesn't make it easier. If he were to be into Christmas and make it a happier time for me, then it would help me, but he just doesn't care. How I married someone who hates Christmas is beyond me. I never would have thought I would have. I guess I don't know myself as well as I thought I did.
About the only thing I'm getting done right now is work. I occasionally work a day or two here and there on the weekends and I barely get through that. Only thing that gets me through that is because I need the money. Matter of fact, I work the next two days and I'm so stressed about it already. I have been all week. I'm just going to do the best I can to make it through the next two days and think of the money.
I am still not certain I am even going to put the tree up, not to mention I have no room. But everyone says I should. Shopping will probably be last minute. And sadly, cleaning and cooking probably won't happen. At least that's how it's looking now. Well I guess that's all for now. I'm just going to try and relax as much as I can the rest of the day before having to work the next two days. Hopefully, I will be successful in calming down some. So until next time.
