Entry 4

Today is Thursday, May 6, 2010 and it's around 11 pm at night.  Today was a bit of a struggle to stay out of depression.  I've felt so tired and run down lately and I know the depression is part of that, as well as the surgery I went through and my medications.  I know the more I move about the better I'll feel, but sometimes, like today, it's just an impossible task.  I'm going to try cleaning up my eating a bit more again.  Adding more fruits, vegetables, yogurt and water, as well as taking a multivitamin every day.  I was doing this about two months ago and felt so much better then, than I do now.  So hopefully that will make enough difference to help get me moving more again, to get out more both socially and increase my walking and activity. 


One thing is certain, my body may not cooperate and want to go, but my mind sure does.  Most often times, my mind doesn't want to quit, even when it should.  I sometimes find it hard to relax.  To just be.  I think the most frustrating thing is dealing with people who are "normal" or rather I should say, do not have a diagnosed mental illness. They don't understand and often time expect you to just snap out of it or to just "be" positive and unfortunately with mental illness, it just doesn't work that way.  You are the way you are and have to deal with it best you can.  It's about time to take my nightly medicines which will help me to wind down, relax and to get to sleep soon.  So for now, good night all.