Chapter 3, Entry 16

Today is Friday, October 21, 2011 and today I'm feeling very anxious and frustrated.  My mind won't stay focused and I can't think.  I have several blogs I use to write on all the time because I was always needing to get it all out.  Now, I have writer's block.  I can't think at all.  It's been this way for months now and I really don't know what to do about it short of just quit blogging.  I use to get in these very creative moods and could write anything, but lately I just draw a blank.  I still feel a need to be creative, but it just won't come which is very frustrating to me. 

I can hardly even focus to write in my diary let alone a blog.  I try and concentrate, but all I draw is a blank.  And then my mind wanders.  I just get so darn frustrated.  I don't know what to do to get it back.  Writing was really my only hobby and now it seems I don't even have that anymore.  I feel like I'm slowly loosing all my creativity.  I feel like it's slipping away and there's nothing I can do to stop it.  I constantly look at different topics and subjects to see if it will trigger anything in my mind, but still I have no luck.  I just can't think.

I don't know if it's my medicines that have done this to me, but ever since I have been taking them I don't have any energy any more and I seem to have lost my creativity.  But on the flip side, my moods are more stable and I don't get as depressed as what I used to or as often.  And I really can't stop taking my medicine, so that's not the answer, but what is?  I'm having a very hard time concentrating and writing in my diary right now.  I'm really having to push myself just to think.  I don't know what the answer is, but I'll just keep praying for one...that's all I can do.