Chapter 3, Entry 9

Today is Thursday, January 6, 2011.  Thankfully, I made it through Christmas and New Year's without too much depression.  Typically, depression tends to set in that time of year, so I'm really happy that it didn't this time around.  Not necessarily a New Year's resolution, but it turns out to be that way, I started going back to the gym on Thursday, December 30th.  So far, I've gone Thursday and Friday of last week, then Tue, Wed and today of this week and I plan to go tomorrow, at least I hope to.  We have a plumber coming, so depending on when he comes will probably decide whether I go to the gym or not. 

I have also starting taking a supplement of natural herbs to help me along, a green tea metabolizer that has high reviews.  And I am striving to eat healthier or at least twice as healthy as I was eating before.  In doing these changes, I hope to combat some of the depression of Bipolar and also to help with my CFS.  Hopefully, it will give me a better outlook and feeling overall.  At least that is what I am striving for. 

I am still struggling somewhat with my bipolar of course.  I am having to really push myself to leave the house, but especially to exercise.  I keep having negative thoughts enter my mind telling me what I'm doing is useless and not enough and that I should just forget about it and quit, but I am trying my hardest to overlook those thoughts.  I am just trying to continue on ahead, as much as I don't want to.  I am just trying to take things one day at a time.  That's my motto, to take it one day at a time, even one hour at a time.  I forced myself to go to the mall yesterday and walk around window shopping by myself.  Guess what, I did it!  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I still wouldn't want to do it often.  Just getting out there and doing something like that occasionally in a great thing in itself. 

So for now, I will continue to push myself in going to the gym on a regular basis.  I'm shooting for 5 days a week, but no less than 3.  And hopefully in time, I will not only feel better, but look better as well.  Doctors always say exercise is the best thing you can do for depression, so I am really going to put that to the test this time.  All I can do is try and to do my best.  So I guess that's all for now, until next time diary.