Chapter 3, Entry 18

Today is Tuesday, November 15, 2011.  I've been feeling a little stressed and anxious.  My son was in a car accident and on top of it he only had liability insurance.  So first I was worried about him being hurt, but he's okay.  But he has lost his car, so now I'm worried enough for the both of us.  He's out of a car, so now he's going to have to go out and buy a new one which I'm worried about because I'm afraid he can't afford a car payment or full coverage insurance. 

So how do I stop this anxiety and worry?  He's my son and I worry.  I don't know how to stop this, but it's eating me up inside.  I'm feeling depressed and have headaches and I feel so anxious...I feel nauseated.  This is real life, not something I'm making up or something that will just go away.  It's real. 

I'm also worried about a new demo I have coming up.  I've never done this particular one before and I'm really nervous about it.  I'm afraid I won't be good enough and that I'll make a fool of myself.  I'm afraid people will ask me lots of questions to which I have no answers.  I really want to do a good job, but I'm just so anxious about it.  And I believe my feelings have real merit.  I have a real reason to feel that way. 

So as you can see, I'm full of anxiety and worry right now.  I'm feeling very depressed about it, but trying to keep my head above water.  I'm barely holding on.  At this point I don't know what I'm going to do to stop it.  If you can tell me, please do.  In the meantime, I just hope and pray this gets better and things go much better than what I think they will.