Today is Thursday, November 11, 2010. I finally went back to the doctor about being so fatigued and sluggish. She changed up one of my medicines, celexa to a stimulant, wellbutrin which is suppose to help rev me up a bit more. So hopefully, this will be the answer. If I can just get enough energy to get out of this rut and get myself back into the gym some, then I'll be much better off. I believe this new medicine will be a much better fit for me. The celexa just seemed to drag me down.
As for everything else, I've been sort of up and down with my mood, but then I do have Bipolar, so that's a given. Although it has been much tougher as of late because of being extremely fatigued. Once again, I am hoping the change in medications will help. I've been trying to do things to keep my mind stimulated by doing my work on the laptop, running errands, housework, tv, and hanging with my friends occasionally. I've also been trying to get out a little more. I am having to force myself and it has been very difficult for me, but I did manage to get out to a couple of new places and met new people. I was very uncomfortable and nervous, but made it though. I just wish I didn't stress so much beforehand about going somewhere, but I do. I worry myself sick until I get there and until it's over. By then, I usually have a migraine or at the least a headache from stressing so much.
With my medication change is suppose to come more energy, but also it should help lift me out of the depressive episodes, at least more than the Celexa did. Also, it is an appetite suppressant and god knows I need to lose any weight I can, even if just 5 pounds. So I'll check back in probably in a few days or perhaps give it a few weeks. So until next time, I'm just going to try to continue to think positive as much as I can.
Wow, it's been since August since I wrote in my online diary. It's been a combination of reasons. I plain forgot is one reason, another is things have been really up and down like a roller coaster since that time. I have been really struggling, mostly with being very fatigued and tired mentally and physically it seems. I've also been having more daily headaches and migraines that usual.
It's hard to say why all this is happening. I am still on the same medications, so I don't really feel like it's anything specifically to do with that. I'm sure it's partly that, but only partly. As for the real culprit, that's a good question, the million dollar question, as least it is to me. I just keep thinking why me? Why do I also struggle so hard just to get out of bed, to do anything for that matter. I really am just so fatigued. It doesn't matter if I've had a good night's sleep or just exercised, I still feel fatigued and worn out. Everything is a struggle to do. Just a walk from my couch to the kitchen can be a struggle.
Doctors just always want to say it's my depression or eat better, sleep better, exercise that will help. Well, depressed or not, I feel this way. And as for the rest, I have done all that and it does NOT help. I don't know what I need to do to get through to them to make them understand. As for my Bipolar, I am doing okay, I could be better I am sure.
I think I am having too many depressive episodes again, but I am holding my own, doing okay which is good because at least I am semi close to being stable, I mean I have my times, but with Bipolar, I will probably always have my times when I struggle. It's just a fact of life I have to live with and come to terms with which for the most part, I think I have now.
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